10 First Date Tips for Men that are Actually Helpful

Young couple sitting down for a first date

Landing a first date with your dream girl or potential match can be incredibly exciting, but equally intimidating. It’s your chance to make a memorable impression, so put your best foot forward. Understanding body language and knowing how to carry a conversation are key here. Without the right mindset, you may find your date walking out before you can even grab the bill.

Searching for first date tips for men in conversation with potential matches? If you’re looking for advice on how a first date can turn into more, you’ve come to the right place. Here are a few practical dating tips for men on the first date.

1. Show Up Early

Making a great first impression should be your first priority, and that starts with showing up on time. Expecting your date to wait around on you shows carelessness and can be off-putting, especially when it's your first time getting together. Even showing up on time can be a little risky - if you both arrive at the same time, you may find yourself feeling flustered and overwhelmed because you didn’t have adequate time to gather your thoughts and ensure everything is in order.

If you want to avoid this, we recommend showing up to the date 15 minutes earlier than you agreed to meet. Having extra time ahead of your date can also provide cushion if you run into traffic or another obstacle that keeps you from showing up on time.

2. Make Her Feel Comfortable

Getting the first date jitters is natural. So natural, in fact, that your date might be feeling exactly as you are - nervous and anxious. You may be so caught up in your own nerves that you’re blinded by the fact that your date is equally nervous, intimidated by the meetup, or unsure of what to wear. This can be one of the biggest mistakes you make on the first date: not considering her feelings!

It’s common to assume your date is doing better than you when you’re feeling overwhelmed, but that might not be the case. If you want to go into the date putting her feelings before your own, start by acknowledging the potential that you’re both shy and nervous. Start the conversation with a casual joke or sit down for a drink together. The less pressure you both feel during your first date, the more likely you are to wind down and enjoy the time together.

3. Be an Expert Listener

But what about when you don’t have a shy bone in your body? Why do your first dates still go south when you have so much to talk about? Maybe the issue is that you’re not an active listener; your date’s words matter just as much as yours, and she’ll notice if you’re not paying attention.

On your next first date, become an expert listener. Ask her the questions that’ll get the conversation flowing, and show her that you’re interested. Body language is key here: Eye contact, nod your head, and give them your undivided attention. These are simple yet impactful moves that show you care about what she has to say.

4. Give Compliments

Words of appreciation are always welcome, especially if you feel your date is nervous. Giving a sincere compliment can speak volumes about the way you perceive your date, and the good feelings can stick with them for the rest of your time together.

Complimenting her should be subtle, of course. Overwhelming her with praise and telling her she’s the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen can be off-putting when it’s your first time sitting down together.

Be creative and gentle with your compliments. Let it flow naturally in the conversation. Maybe it doesn’t have to involve her looks at all; tell her you're impressed by her work or love her style. Show her that you’re a great listener and you appreciate her thoughts and insights, and she’ll be blown away.

5. Offer to Pay the Bill, But be Willing to Split it

Offering to pay the bill is one of the best ways to take initiative and go the extra mile for your date. This traditional gesture isn't expected out of everyone, but it can make a big difference in the outcome of your date. In fact, a YouGov poll found that 25% of 1000 surveyed women are turned off if men don’t at least offer to pay the bill.

Of course, some women may insist on splitting the bill altogether. If this is the case, use your best judgment to make your next move. If she seems flattered and flirty, you can probably take care of the bill without her noticing. If she’s adamant about paying for her own food, don’t argue with her. The last thing you want to do is embarrass your date - or yourself - over the fact that someone wanted to pay for their own meal.

Woman disinterested in first date with man

6. Understand her Body Language Before Making a Move

Body language is everything on a first date. It shows if you’re interested in the other person altogether, and it also signifies if you’re ready to take the next step.

If you have a great feeling about your date and you want to express your feelings by holding hands, hugging, or kissing, make sure you get a good read of your match before you make a move.

Does she look stiff and uncomfortable, or is she more relaxed and touchy? Has she made it clear that she wants to keep her distance, or have you been attached at the hip since the start of the date? All of these actions can help you get a good read on your date and decide if it’s time to make the next move. Make sure to get consent before going in for a kiss. This can be a simple yet important gesture that your date will love and appreciate.

7. Stay Off of Your Phone

This seems like a silly point to address, but it seems important to mention. The same YouGov survey we previously mentioned found that both men (69%) and women (70%) are annoyed by someone who thinks it’s fine to spend time scrolling and texting while on the first date.

Going on your phone instead of being present at the moment during your date can be a major turn-off. Once you arrive, put your phone on silent or turn it off completely. Unless you’re expecting major news from a family member, you don’t need to worry about getting any messages or notifications during the few hours of your date. Your match deserves your undivided attention, and your phone can distract you from achieving this.

8. Stay Away from Yes or No Questions

Questions are your most important tools on a first date. But asking the wrong ones can set an uncomfortable tone for the conversation and the rest of the date. To avoid this, stay away from yes or no questions, or at least be ready with some follow-ups. Almost immediately, closed-ended questions leave conversations feeling stale and dry.

Think about asking questions that will help you get to know your match. Particularly, questions that will help the conversation carry on and give you something interesting to talk about. If you’re looking for a mix of fun, quirky, and intriguing questions, here are some examples:

What’s the best concert you’ve ever been to?
What’s your ideal coffee order?
Where did your favorite vacation take place?
What’s something random about you that would surprise me?
What do you like to do with your free time?
How do you like to spend your weekends?

These are all great vehicles for conversation and can keep you guys talking for hours.

9. Be Your Authentic Self

Of course, the most important thing you need to remember going into a first date is staying true to yourself. Be willing to showcase your personality. If you focus too heavily on impressing your date and making sure they like you, you probably won’t have a good time. You match, on the other hand, might not have a good read on who exactly you are.

It’s important to keep your guard up on a first date to an extent - after all, this is your first time getting together (you need to leave a little mystery to uncover on a followup date!). However, you should still stay true to yourself, relax, and have a great time.

10. Set Yourself up for Success with FarmersOnly

Having an amazing first date experience starts with feeling comfortable enough to ask her out in the first place. If you have a difficult time approaching women in person, but you’re interested in pursuing someone, try FarmersOnly.com. Taking the plunge and creating an account is a great first date tip for men in the online dating world.

Our online dating website offers a friendly, low-key environment for getting to know other like-minded singles in hopes of someday falling in love. And remember: You don’t have to be a farmer or a ranch hand to sign up. If you’re a simple-minded rural guy or girl, there’s someone for you on our dating site. Here’s how easy it is to get started:

Register for your account. Fill out the Member Sign Up Form with your email address, zip code, age, and gender dating preference. Then, confirm that you are 18 or older and that you’ve read the terms and conditions. Once this is complete, you’re ready to set up your dating profile!
Create an impressive dating profile. You don’t have to be tech-savvy to create an amazing profile that turns heads. We make it easy to put your personality on display and bring other people to your inbox. Don't forget to include personality traits, hobbies, interests, goals, morals, and beliefs. This information can make it easier for you and other singles to decide if you’re compatible before the conversation starts.
Send your first flirt. To get the conversation going, you first send a flirt - this is your way of showing your initial interest. If they send a flirt back, that means they’re also interested, and you can begin talking with them. This is an opportunity to take the initiative, push your nerves aside and make the first move.
Get to know them. Once you’ve expressed interest in each other, take time to learn more about their hobbies, interests and life goals. Depending on how in depth the conversation gets, you may spend time talking about relationship goals and where you see yourselves in the next few years. Sometimes it’s good to set the right expectation, just be casual about the conversation!
Schedule the first date! Once you get far enough into the conversation, you’ll know whether this match has true potential or if you’re ready to move on and talk to someone different. If you find yourself moving in an exciting direction, you might want to meet in-person for the first date. By this point, you’ve likely spent time getting to know your match and should feel more comfortable and confident going into the first date.

If you’re looking for an opportunity to meet someone special and combat first date jitters, online dating may be the right journey for you. Sign up for FarmersOnly.com to find your perfect match and get the ball rolling today.